Last year I added a post on my father’s sisters, called the
Aunts. I liked my aunts and enjoyed
their company. However, they had a habit
of feuding among themselves. One always
had to know who was speaking to whom. My
mother’s sister, Mildred, who worked with them in Lee’s said she always had to
be careful to whom she spoke to first.
If she picked the wrong one the day might be difficult.
My Grandmother had 7 children. The first was from a different father than
the rest. I think Aunt Sarah had a
problem feeling “different” or as an “outsider” at times though her brothers
and sisters never treated her differently.
However, Grandmother died in 1946 when I was 5 so, things might have
changed afterwards.
The baby was Uncle Sammy. Everyone loved Uncle Sammy! He was always spared and uninvolved in the feuds. If fact he at times tried to be the
peacemaker. The second son, Ben, was 4
years younger than my Dad and was the 4th child. He too remained apart from most of the
feuding. He was always close to Sarah. However, he was not close to my Dad. I only remember being in Uncle Ben’s home
once in all my life. I always maintained
a relationship with him, however. Once I
was a teenage, I went to NYC 3 or 4 times a year. Since Uncle Ben worked at the train station,
I always stopped at his window to buy my ticket and chat with him briefly. Later, he would be admitted to DH&LC for what
he called a “tune-up.” He had mild
chronic lung disease and occasionally needed chest PT, etc. I always visited him during his stay. The last time he was in the hospital I
stopped on my way out and we chatted for about an hour. He was going home the next day so I said “good-bye.” The next evening at home he had a massive
stroke and died a few days later. I was
so happy I had spent that time with him!
Apparently, he too was delighted because he told his sons about it and
reminded them that when Margaret was a candy stripper at Deborah, she also
visited him.
I do remember some issue between Ben and one or more of his
sisters. When my Dad turned 70, my
brother invited his siblings for a surprise dinner to celebrate. Uncle Ben did not come. So, my Mom had a separate dinner later in the
week for Ben and his wife, Casey.
The sisters were another matter. I remember them arguing about which one their
Mom liked best. At the time they ranged
in age from 73 to 62! They also argued
over who was the better cook.
Sarah for a while did not speak with her sisters, especially
Frances. I remember as a child an
incident in which Sarah was visiting and we were sitting in the kitchen. The doorbell rang and Mom answered it. There stood Frances with one of her daughters
and sons-in-law. They came in and as
usual walked into the kitchen, where they found Sarah. They turned around,
returned to the living room, visited briefly and left. Meanwhile I sat in the kitchen with
Sarah. I don’t remember when they
resolved their differences. Frances lost
her oldest son in 1951 in an auto accident and her husband died of pneumonia in
1956. Probably when Uncle Jim died,
Sammy and Ben left Frances’ home and drove to bring Sarah to her sister’s.
Sarah also had problems with my parents. In 1950 Dad celebrated his 50th
birthday. Sarah decided that we had a party and did not invite her. There was something about her driving past
our home and finding all the lights on.
We did that often, especially since I did my homework on the dining room
table. There was no party. The second incident was definitely my mother’s
fault. In June 1953, Peter graduated
from college and Sarah’s youngest son got married. Mom was preparing for a party at home and did
not go to the wedding. In those days,
the only excuse for missing a family wedding was a death in the family or an
invitation to the White House. My
parents should have gone to their nephew’s wedding! After that Sarah did not speak to my parents
for several years. I remember meeting
her in a downtown department store. I
was with my mother. I greeted her, but
she ignored me.
Several years later I was home from DC for the weekend. My Dad told me we were going to visit Aunt
Sarah and Uncle Sam. I was surprised and
asked “Why?” He told me that Uncle Sam
had called and they made peace. So, we
visited and picked up where I had left off!
There was a brief period when Frances and my parents were
not speaking. I don’t remember when or
why or how it was resolved. It did not
last long.
Mary lived with my Grandmother and Catherine. Once Catherine married, she and her husband
lived there too. After Grandma died, the
house belonged to both of the sisters. The
two sisters were very close in age and personally. Again, there was a period of time when the
two were not speaking to my parents. I
don’t know why. I do remember when it
ended.
Peter was Mary’s favorite, even when she was in the nursing
home and he never visited. When I
visited she always called me, “Peter.” In 1953, she wanted very much to attend
his graduation from college. He was the
first nephew to graduate from college.
Therefore, she and Catherine had to make peace with my parents.
One evening well after 10pm the doorbell rang. I was already going to bed but I heard
them. I believe that Uncle Sammy brought
both Catherine and Mary to the house. I
think this was before Uncle Pete finally broke down and bought a car. They came so late because they knew that Dad
came home from work about 10:45. I heard
them arguing for quite a while. I
remember calling down and asking them to be quieter as I had to get to
sleep! The result was that Mary came to
the graduation. At that time Rutgers
graduation was in the football stadium.
There were thousands of graduates.
There wasn’t that much to see. (When
I graduated each time from U of C, convocation was in the Chapel and each
graduate received his/her diploma individually.) After that they remained friends until Mary
died and Catherine moved to Rochester.
This is the saga of the Lumia siblings during my
lifetime. Who knows what happened in the
previous decades?
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