Except from Story Worth

 

this is one of the stories I wrote for Story Worth. I always claimed that he was an only child but writing this showed me that actually we both were only childreen.

Was my Brother an Only Child?

My brother, Peter, was 9 years and 10 months older than me.  Therefore, he was an only child for almost 10 years.  (There was a book with the same title in the 1950’s.).    Then I came along.  Sociologists report that siblings more than 7 years apart are more like first cousins than siblings.  I never had a sibling that close to me but I did have a first Cousin, Frank Amodio, who is a still like a brother to me.  We are only a year apart.

Lumia Family May 1941

It was interesting having an older brother. He went off to college when I was 8 and graduated college when I was 12.  He graduated from law school when I graduated high school.  I had many of the same teachers as he did, just 10 years later.  From my first grade teacher to my high school physics teacher I was always greeted with, “Are you Peter Lumia’s brother?”  This question annoyed me and I decided that I would not go to the same college.  Since he was out of the house so much, I could honestly claim that I was an only child, too.

Actually, that is true.  We just spent a majority of time with different parents.  Peter spent most of his time with Mom. Dad worked nights and slept late afternoon into evening.  That

left  Peter and Mom home alone. Mom was young and did not work outside the home.   The two of them did things together, visited friends and family and Peter always complained that he went to numerous wakes with Mom.  They also went to the movies, particularly on “dish night.”  Mom acquired a whole large set of dished that we always called the “Park Theater” dishes.  Mom got rid of them at some point but I found one in an antique shop and it is now in the beach house.

 There was significant difference in the way we were dressed. Peter, at age 3 is seated in an Irish linen suit with lace trim.  I am in my usual overalls and polo shirt at about the same age with my Dad in front of Aunt Sarah’s house.  Mom said I did not look good in Peter’s linen and lace.

I spent a great deal of time with my Dad.  I came home for lunch every day from first grade through sixth.  We ate together while listening to the radio.  We listened to the daytime soap operas:  Helen Trent, Our Gal Sunday and Aunt Jennie.  Schools were closed on the Monday, the State Fair was opened and Dad and I went every year. I also went with him to pick up Mom.  He would park on the railroad bridge near Lee’s and watch the trains, counting the numbers of cars. They were all special times for me.  During the summer I was home alone from the time he went to work until Phil came home.

Spending so much time with different parents influenced us differently.  Aunt Mildred always commented that we were different people with different temperaments, and others did too.  Mom treated Peter as the first son in an Italian family.  He was the Prince.  When she was old, she acted as if she were a little afraid of him.  She would ask me to take her places or do certain things—never Peter.  Peter’s sons who spent a lot of time with my parents noticed the difference, particularly in the way Mom treated us.  Dad had a less close relationship with Peter.  I don’t know about the time before I was born, but he did not spend much alone time with Peter as I was always around.

Peter did try to take part in my life but not often.  He did make a suggestion when I was looking for a college. Having been an education major he was impressed with the University of Chicago.  I really did not want to go to Rutgers. He had gone to Rutgers.  I wrote, applied and was accepted.  Going to the College of the University of Chicago was one of the best things I did.  The College was exactly what I expect college to be.

Peter took me to my first Broadway show—Tea House of the August Moon.  That was 1953.  I’ve been a Broadway Baby ever since.  He continued going too until he was old. 

Sharing a bedroom was another issue.  He had the back bedroom with a double bed.  Phil came to live with us in 1945 and took the center bedroom.  I was still sleeping in a crib in my parent’s room.  I don’t know who pushed for me to move in with Peter, but he was not happy.  He complained that I would not stay on my “half”.  But I did stay in that room.  The concession forced my parents to buy twin beds that only fit in an “L” configuration.

He met Barbara in 1957.  She came for the Holidays that year.  They were engaged in March 1958 (Barbara’s Birthday) and eloped in May.  Mom never forgave them for robbing her of a big church wedding.  I was supposed to be his Best Man, again at Mom’s direction.

They eventually had 4 sons.  I was delighted having nephews and the 4 boys have remained special, always.  When Margaret was born, the Lumia family finally had a little girl.  Uncle Peter was delighted and told Carolyn he never wanted to see her in pants.

Our relationship definitely had its ups and downs.  It was hard for Peter to accept that I had grown up, even when I became a physician.  My father died a few week after our wedding in 1970.  Peter sold Dad’s car and took most of his tools without talking with me.  I asked my Mother about this and she said that Peter did it and had not said anything to her.  But she accepted his actions easily.

We spent Christmas together as long as Mom was alive.  His favorite cookie was Mom’s Anise Biscotti.  I started making them and gave him a container each Christmas.  He would rush them into his car and dutifully return the container.

After Barbara died in 2007, he met Doris, a lovely lady and we spent a bit more time together.  She joined us on the Holidays.  He turned 80 in 2011 and I had a dinner for him, inviting his sons.  He died of an acute MI while on a cruise during super storm Sandy in 2012.